Thursday, June 30, 2005
It's true.It happens to me quite often.I sleep thru' the night from late evening ytd.I was too tired to even read the newspaper.It was because after school,i went swimming with my mates.And i've to wake up at 4am to finish up my work.HAHA!
This wldn't happen again,hopefully.
Alright,gonna run.If not i'll be late for school.
It's sad that we can't even be friends.
You told me that we're still friends.
But why are you avoiding?
Why can't you just treat me as a normal friend?
Is it so difficult?
Motherfucker.
9:38 PM
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
After school this afternoon,i stayed in the canteen.Chatted with the peeps.And headed out of school with Yani & Nat.When i got home,i did my English Compre.Rushed downstairs for a hair cut.Trimmed a lil'.
Now i'm here.Listening to my brother playing his guitar.It's a killer man,today.Guess he's having some problems in his head that he played so loudly.Making my head burst out with a pool of blood on the floor XD
I gonna run now.Having tuition in an hour time.
Pray hard that Nat's doing well with his boy.
And Yani's good with his boy once again :)
I'm glad that you've chosen this path for me.
I'm grateful to you.
I miss my G-SIS.
9:12 AM
Monday, June 27, 2005
I've just finished packing my stuffs for tml's school.I'm sure i will be darn stressed out by tml.
Study hard people.
2:21 PM
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Was supposed to go for a movie with Jeff just now.But he went clubbing with his mates.And i was supposed to meet Adrian at P.S for awhile.But i didn't meet up with Jeff,so i didn't went there.Then,Shawn called.Asking me out for supper.He picked me up and went to meet up with his friends.He sent me back after that.
Chatted with Guang Liang at the coffee shop.Complained to him about my 'goodbye-ed love'.And when i came back, was chatting online with Rui Qing till now.Complained to him too.
I must that many guys can be a real good friend.But not a good boyfriend.They treat their friends much better.And their friends to them stands at the highest priority than anything/anyone else.
Gonna go to bed now.Having tuition tml.
Life still has to move on.
I believe, there's gonna be more to life.
7:47 PM
Havin' to put a full stop to this beautiful relationship,it hurts me.Havin' you to say "We're now friends.I have no feelings for you.And you too,don't have any for me.".I was shocked to hear you saying this.I didn't know all these words would come out purely from your mouth.I wrote a letter for him,but i don't know if i should give it to him.If so,this would be the first and last gift from me to you.
Time is all i need to make me forget all about him.
Thanks to my ladies and everyone else who were all consoling me every day and night.Never will i drop any tears for him.It's all over and done with.This period of life was the hardest and darkest.I believe this is the toughest relationship i've ever been in.
Now,i should focus on my upcoming O's.Muggings are on its way.
3:25 PM
Friday, June 24, 2005
I had a horrible day ytd.And it was really very horrendous.This is the first time i did this to my boyfriend.My heart feel sorry.But yet,i guess he deserved that scold from me infront of his friends and the public.Though i think back,i'm just making a shame of myself.But still,it's for my relationship with him,why not?
I've done so much to build up this beautiful relationship,but he's always skimming.I don't mind him skimming as it's his hobby.But see,simple things like giving me a call,he can't even do it.He can simply tell me that he forgot to tell me that he's going to Sentosa.I went down personally to look for him.He didn't know i was there since 4pm till 7pm (when i saw him going home).I was forced not to talk to him.But,i became soft-hearted and i went to him.Then was when everything started going hay-wired.
My family members heard about this,my ladies and my friends.Everyone asked me to give up.There's no point of me doing so much and him doing nothing at all.
I guess that i've to let you go.You were once my baby boy.And now you're free from everything.No one there to complain,no one there to show her love and concern towards you.Maybe there is,but it's definately not me who was once your baby.
But still,i'll be missing you.The things we said to each other.The things we did together.The ways that you once show that you love me and i means a lot to you.Keep these as a memory that will remain in our heart forever.
Tears are rolling down my cheeks every single minute.And i know you hate me cry the most.But you're making me to cry.Boy,i didn't mean to do everything that i've done that show that i didn't show any respect to you.I really can't do anything than these.
BABY,I MISS YOU!
Tell me that this is not the end and there's more than these that we can do.Tell me that i means a million to you.Tell me that you are sorry for whatever you have done and yoy would change.Would these all happen again and start a fresh?
How could this happen to me?I've made my mistakes.There's no way to run.But life still goes on.As i'm fading away.I'm sick of this life.
Sigh.Come back to me one day as WE BELONG TOGETHER!
2:32 AM
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
We've been talking about all the issues regarding our relationship these days.Everything's just so wrong.I've tried my best to understand you by putting myself in your shoe.But what I got from you were all the opposite of what you should be doing.Fine.You don't wanna call me,it's all up to you and it's all your decision.I wouldn't allow to you take back your words.You gave me excuses like,"I'm tired after skimming.That's why I didn't call you.".So if you skims everyday,means you wouldn't be calling me every single day?And do you know that we haven't been talking on the phone these days when we didn't meet up?Hey,you wanna me to study hard.And i have to do it for my o's.But you're making me worse.I don't have the mood and support to do it.All these problems are flowing in my mind every night that i can't sleep soundly.
So,let's just put it this way that i gonna live my life as SINGLE.but you'll always be my baby boy.
How sad can it get?It's easy getting involved in a relationship.But hard to maintain it.
Assignments are all due.And fuck them all.I haven't do a single one of them.This week gonna be my F&N practical exam.And fuck it too.I haven't finish my coursework.Ahhhhh.Tuition homework and all are not done.Fuck it too.BOOOOOOO!!
All these are killing me!
FUCK!
10:23 AM
Monday, June 20, 2005
But i still dragged myself to.
Ytd was baby's skim comp @ ECP.
Did anyone of you turn up there?
Alright,it was super fun.
Went there together (3 couples) at 7am straight away frm Nat's place.
Got there, and they went to register and all.
Got a Quicksilver goody bag.
Baby gave it to me.Hah. (Envy me man!)
Gave him a all-the-best kiss & hug.
And off they went into the sea to practice and practice.
While all the girls started walking around.
I saw many people.
I smiled,chatted,fooled and everything else.
I'm happy.
Finally,after the 1st round,i went to check on the board.
I saw 'Md. Munifahanis' in the round 2 list.
At that moment, i thanked God.
I was happy for him so is he for himself.
:)
And i talked to his Aunt who was there to support him too.
Though you wasn't in the next round,
but baby,
you've done your best.
no worries!
And after that,we headed for dinner.
Talked to baby about our relationship.
Got some plans to work out.
Both for us and my studies.
Thanks for understanding.
Dad fetched me and Yani back home.
Nat went off with Roy.
And the rest took a bus back.
Now,i'm having a tanned face,neck and legs.
I wasn't wearing my bikini top ytd.
But my polo tee and demin shorts.
Ah!
Havin' tuition later.
And i wldn't postpone nor cancel it anymore.
Skim's comp over means i've got to mug hard now.
Love y'all.
2:45 AM
Friday, June 17, 2005
My handphone was cut off this afternoon.The feeling was TERRIBLE!The moment when I wanted to make a phone call or message others,I went "Oh my.My phone...".This shows how much I can't live without it.I told my dad about it,he was like "Ya la.".What kind of answer and attitude is this?I'm not working,that answer my economical problems.Ah.Whatever.We shall see how la.Can't be bothered with him.
Anyhows,I went down to ECP just now.Waited for my baby to finish skimming.Then headed for dinner with Roy,Nat and Fiq.This time,Yani is missing.Had a lil' argument with baby.He's havin' his PMS la.Hah.I'm going to have a sleepover tml @ Nat's place.Again,3 beautiful couples together.LOVE!
Look how dark he is.BANGALAH!
He can be cute at times.
But irritating most of the time.
Yani's niece.She's VERY cute.Hah.
Anyhows,I went down to ECP just now.Waited for my baby to finish skimming.Then headed for dinner with Roy,Nat and Fiq.This time,Yani is missing.Had a lil' argument with baby.He's havin' his PMS la.Hah.I'm going to have a sleepover tml @ Nat's place.Again,3 beautiful couples together.LOVE!
Look how dark he is.BANGALAH!
He can be cute at times.
But irritating most of the time.
Yani's niece.She's VERY cute.Hah.
I've gave my all to you.Lovin' you.
2:10 PM
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
I suddenly became so Volcom-ish.Pardon me!
Because of my baby.He's kind of Volcom-ish too.Haha!
Hmmm,i saw this Volcom shorts for guys online just now.
It's nice.Totally.Thinkin' of getting for him.Shall see how.
Anyhows,school started for the guaduating classes ytd.
It was alright.Just that i've got to adjust a bit.
Muggings have to come some time next week.
Cheeky gonna have his skimmin' competition this Saturday.
Along with Roy, Taufiq, Takin and all.
All the best dudes!
And of cos,i'll be enjoyin' with Yani, Nat, Sam and maybe Emms?
I'll see you peeps then.
Love all.
Esp Cheeky - My one and only.
9:02 AM
Sunday, June 12, 2005
But yet i can't sleep - Sleepless night.
Can't wait to see my dude tml!
MISS YOU,DARLING!
LOVE.
4:52 PM
Friday, June 10, 2005
Sayang, aku cinta kau!
The ups & downs we went thru',
the jokes we shared,
having meals together,
you holding on tightly to my hands,
you giving me good-bye kisses,
watching you skim,
and you disturbing other people
...
I enjoy all of these with you.
You're more than anything else I need.
Baby, you've entered my life.
Stay here & stay long.
There's gonna be more to our life.
Lovin' you
from this moment on
<333
4:41 AM
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
fought with my 2nd bro ytd night.argued with my mother just now.nearly fought.
she cried.
i cried.
she hit herself with the remote controller.
i begged her to stop.
she packed her clothes.
she left without a word.
Life's really tough.it's too much for me to handle and settle everything all by myself.i've tried my best to think from your point of view.but can't you just spare a thought for me and my studies?i would really appreciate it if you can do it.
sorry mummy!
I may slip away from your arms someday.
And die.
God, can you please stop torturing me this way?
It's too much for me.
My heart's aching.
There's no other better path in my life.
It's just this.
Mummy's great.
She gave the family her best.
Daddy did too.
Bros did it too.
I'm the only one to be blamed.
I'm really sorry.
Sincerely.
Lovin' y'all,
till my heart stop beating.
9:19 AM
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
sometimes i wonder how people can get themselves involved in 2 relationships at one time.
you can't possibly love both of them at the same time.
take note of the word 'LOVE'.
it's a big word to be used.
and i also wonder how people could just use someone new in their life to replace their boyfriend/girlfriend that they are with for almost 3 years or more.
this world is really weird!
and i mean it.
people can enter your life this minute and left you in that dark corner the very next mintue.
human beings are horrendous,nowadays!
was in town just now with Yani after our lesson @ RELC.went to look for surfers' stuffs.found many new things that i wanna get.and not forgetting that i wanna get a new pair of bikini.i can wear them to the Skim Competition.haha.happy happy.
My mum suddenly prompted a question for me. "Girl, how come i didn't hear that you have boyfriend after your last break up?" I was damn shocked.I was wondering "You wanna me to faster get married or something?". I somehow smelled a rat la.haha.weirdo! i then told her that good guys are hard to find nowadays.and with so many bitches around,i'm sure it's worse.
I suddenly thought of something that sounds logical.i've been single for almost a year or so?and during these days, my ladies and divas have been in and out of diff. relationships.whenever they are going out, these couples would ask me along.it makes me like an extra.and i mean it.when they walk together, i would have to walk beside them and look at the surrounding i'm in while they talk to each other.i find myself STUPID! seriously, i think this is the one and only reason why i haven't been in any relationship as i've been seen as a "third party" or an "extra" in outings.
HAHA!! what logic is that? agree with me,anyone?
I'm going crazy.
School's gonna reopen for me in a week's time.
HELP!!!
6:10 AM
Monday, June 06, 2005
Weekends' over.Another week is yet to come.I believe that i've been enjoying my life by spending every single day out in town.This is something which i should have stop myself from doing since last week.It's bad.
Life's been great with all the laughters.However,it's bad as we people get to know more people in the world,there tends to be more misunderstandings among us.I somehow don't know how to help these people.I'm not involved in this shit.
Alright,I must make a deal to myself and this deal gonna be BIG.I gonna promise not to go clubbing from now on.I'll have to control myself.If not,when exams' here,it will be difficult for me to adapt to this kind of lifestyle.
When you left, I lost a part of me.
It's still so hard to believe.
Come back baby please
Cause' we belong together.
4:51 PM
Saturday, June 04, 2005
EVERYTHING'S GETTING OUT OF HAND!
12:41 PM
Friday, June 03, 2005
Haven't been at home lately.always meeting my ladies for supper and hanging out with my divas.
I had a terrible morning today.
Am moodless because of you :)
Having RELC again tml.
Adios!
2:48 PM
Thursday, June 02, 2005
So, i'm now thinking of Anderson JC, Catholic JC, Nanyang JC and St. Andrew's JC.
BUT, SAJC's admission application was closed ytd at 5pm.i didn't know it till today.DAMN IT!shall try the rest which i'm interested in.gonna ask mom & dad first.
I went for the first lesson of RELC this morning.wondering what is that?it's a English course to succeed in English.it's important to master English.without it, you can go no where.so i paid like freaking $300 for it.together with Yani, i was feeling very bored in class.the teacher is super duper naggy!
I'm hungry now !! Food, anyone?
4:30 AM
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
i forced myself outta bed and rushed into the bathroom.i thought i was late to meet up with my cousin.when i came out of the bathroom,i looked at the clock blurly.it's only freaking 10am.haha.i was very blur!
then now i have got nothing better to do.haha.gonna go over my cousin's place and start mugging with her.o's life sucks!but mugging is enjoyable. :)
my life's brightened up by these ladies. LOVE LOVE!
1:41 AM